Emerald
by Arylayne
Summary: Love is never easy, especially if there are so many sticks and stones in the way.  Gil & Oz, Break & Sharon, later on Jack & Lacie... Rating might change in later chapters
1. All the words

Hey guys, this is going to be a multi-chaptered fic. The different chapters come with a (in my opinion) fitting song, that expresses the way the characters feel.

Neither PH nor the songs are mine...

Chapter 1 features All the words by Kutless.

I am no native speaker, but I hope you will enjoy the fic nonetheless.

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><p><em><strong>All the words<strong>_

_**** All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and never describe/  
>All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands and I worship  
>I worship You.<em>

Sometimes I still can't believe it's really you, standing there with blazing green eyes and hair gleaming like the sun itself, no even brighter, to me at last…

Sometime I just wish that I had the courage to speak freely to you, just once, only once…

Since I'm well aware of my feelings for you I'd like to know your heart as well. But I will never ask...(since I already know)

All those words piled up in me over 10 long years, years full of visions of your smiling face, your kind but yet mischievous eyes…

I'll never forget how it felt when you were taken from me and oh the joy when you came back…

First, I didn't want you to know who I am, I thought we could maybe have a fresh start, not as servant and master but a friends and then maybe later I'd have told you my true identity.

But I'm fine with being your servant, really. I'd be fine with anything as long as I am allowed to stay by your side. I'd even put up with that baka-usagi for you. Nonetheless, I wished she would have just stayed where she belongs. Since you came back with her…

You're still talking to her over there at the window, laughing ,smiling, stroking her head... Why can't it be m- ...

No….

It's not my place over there in the light with you.

The shadow fits me well enough, since you told her she is your sun…

I never told you that you're mine…

Sometimes I can hardly breathe, when I look at you, sometimes it feels like my heart stops when you're just saying my name.

When I see that baka-usagi talking to you, I dream of kicking her straight out of the house and I am not the violent type.

When I see you wandering about from time to time, with that forlorn look into your eyes, I feel like running to you, taking you into my arms and…..

I will give you my everything, without you asking for it. Just your presence puts together my broken self and lets me forget that I'm nobody. Someone without a past, lost in a maze full of broken memories. But as long as I am by your side I have a future to fight fo,r even if I can just watch you and bathe in the light that is Oz Vessalius.

And from time to time I even allow myself to imagine how you would react if I said all those words to you…

But…but then I watch you more closely and I see the truth.

You hug her when she is lost in HER broken memories.

You show her a side of you that I don't even know of.

I saw you risk your life for her more than once and the light in your eyes when you watch her smile.

And I always remember how you said that she is your sun.

But even if I have a reason to scorn her I can't, since she is the most precious thing in the world to you and I have sworn to myself to never make you sad again, to never again bear to be separated from you.

As long as I can be at your side, I can bear anything. I am not going to fight for your love since I'm fully aware of the fact that I have already lost.

Because you said to that you do not regard me as your servant, but as your best friend, always….

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><p>Have a nice evening!<p>

Ary


	2. Hot Mess

Hello guys

Here is chapter 2 ^^

It will be from Breaks POV, the featured song is called Hot Mess by Cobra Starship

Neither PH nor the song belong to me

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><p><em><strong>Hot Mess<strong>_

_You were a problem child  
>Been grounded your whole life<br>So now you runnin' wild  
>Playin' with them good girls<br>No that ain't your style.  
>You think you're hot shit<br>And ooh I love it  
>I love it yeah, yeah<em>

Xerxes Break had a good day, he had not only accomplished to make his fair lady go on a rampanage and was currently hiding in the storage closet but heard just a minute ago how someone started to pace up and down in the storage room. That someone was, elicited the white haired man from the low murmuring, no other than the little servant boy. Well, he wasn't little anymore, but he still behaved like that most of the time. Moreover, he was talking to himself…

"What should I do, how could I be so stupid….

What if someone observed me doing this to…? I mean, just to imagine Break watched me while I…

It gives me the creeps, but he didn't , he mustn't , he can't have seen that…

I hope so at least…

Well, Sharon would be equally as bad…or the stupid rabbit…. but the worst possibility would be for him to not have been asleep….

When he felt how I….I wouldn't know how to react…

I wish, I could just forget what I let myself do to him. This feeling is tearing me up, why did I fall for someone that out of my reach….

What I did….I can't bring myself to say it. Even in here, where nobody is listening to me, I can't be true to myself. I am really seaweed, worth nothing…

I really shouldn't have kissed him…now it is going to be even harder to be by his side… "

With these last words Gils voice and steps vanished, directed into the kitchen. As always the distressed Gil would release his build up emotions in some kind of fabulous dessert.

As always it would be for Oz … and it would have been made because of him, too.


	3. For you and your denial

Here comes the next chapter, this time from Alice's point of view.

The featured song is called For you and your denial, sung by Yellowcard.

As always, neither PH nor the song are mine.

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><p><strong>For you and your denial<strong>

****_I'm letting you go now (go now)  
>Can you hear the crowd? They all go wild<br>For you and your denial  
>They're watching you break down<em>

Alice liked Oz, she wasn't sure though, what this kind of "like" was actually composed of. She also didn't know how Oz felt about her. She had tried to kiss him once though; Sharon told her it would surely cheer Oz up. Well, it hadn't.

He just said she shouldn't go around randomly biting people. But that wasn't true! She only bit him, at least in her human form.

Oz was changing, Alice knew that much, she could see the growing emptiness in his formerly bright eyes. But it was vanishing that brightness. Alice couldn't tell why. Maybe the stupid seaweed head was the cause of all of this.

If he was, she'd kill him…or torture him at least. She heard he didn't like cats, to put it in a harmless way.

Maybe she should try kissing Oz again? She should definitely tell him that thing…. somewhere she read about something to make man happy. It was Alice's duty to make him content, he was her loyal manservant, right? So maybe she could tell him those three words.

She didn't really know what they meant, but if they could make him happy, it was worth a try. Maybe he'd quit his gloomy attitude then. Yes she'd try it. Alice knew where to find Oz, he was currently sitting in the small library of the Pandora head quarters, reading a copy of this boring knight series.

After getting there she called nervously out to him "Oz? I have to talk to you for a moment! There is something I need to tell you! It is really important!".

Oz looked up from his book his sullen expression quickly hidden, behind a seemingly bright smile "How can I help you Alice? If I should listen I am going to, just tell me".

Alice draw a deep breath, opened her mouth and said "I am pregnant".

Now she would succeed in cheering Oz up, he would be really happy to hear that, right? Right? RIGHT?

Brimming with anticipation, the brown haired girl looked over to the golden haired boy who was responding with a rather confused and a little shocked expression…. "Pregnant?But …how?Who? Wh…wh…hy?"


	4. Disease

Hi guys,

Here a chapter from Sharon-hime's point of view

The song is called Disease and sung by Livingston

English is my second language, so please don't mind the mistakes too much.

Neither PH nor the song belong to me...

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><p><em><strong>Disease<strong>_

_I've got this disease  
>And it's burning in me<br>But it opened up my eyes and it helped me to see  
>We often in love, get sent from above<br>An angel to help us open up our eyes_

The young Lady Rainsworth was sitting in the garden of the Rainsworth mansion sipping high quality earl gray out of a porcelain mug. While the sun was shining on the white paragon that kept Sharons delicate skin from the sun's rays, she was brooding over the development of the last months. This chronical disease she was suffering from since her early teens seemed to grow stronger and stronger every day. If there just were a vaccine against it …

But as things were, she just had to cope with it. There was still the chance that the pain would lessen over the years and at some point she would be able to forget about her disease. "Lovesickness", how could such a simple word evoke such pain?

And why did hiding this pain make the very same so much worse? Sometimes every word she spoke to him, every glance she stole and every crooked smile she received felt like a dagger that pierced her heart. But she had to hide her feelings.

The worst thing of all was the fact that she wasn't as oblivious to other people's feelings as Oz, Gil and Alice were. She knew quite well that he too had fallen for her...

But she also knew that he held her too high and himself too low, to ever allow himself to give in to his feelings. After all, he had been a knight a long time ago…

Knowing him, she figured that he also knew about her disease, as she preferred to call it. So they both played a dangerous game, acting as close friends, sharing an almost sibling like bond, without ever revealing their true feelings for each other to the world.

But still…from time to time Sharon allowed herself to dream about a world were a "we" would have been possible for them. But not for too long, there was too much to do. After all, they had to prevent a second tragedy of Sabrié.

With Leo on the Baskervilles side who knew what was going to happen in future?

After finishing her tea, Sharon went back into the mansion, where a confused and somehow unfitting broody Oz was already waiting for her.

"Sharon, can I talk to you for a minute?", he asked and followed her into the library without waiting for her answer.


	5. Just so you know

Hi guys!

Thanks for the lovely reviews to Culut-Camila and Shiori-chan :)

The next chapter features Just so you know, sung by Jesse McCartney.

Neither the song, nor the PH belong to me.

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><p><em><strong>Just so you know<strong>_

_It's getting hard to be around you  
>There's so much I can't say<br>Do you want me to hide the feelings  
>And look the other way<em>

Oz fidgeted around on the chair while observing Sharon observing him. "Say Oz," the strawberry blonde said, "isn't there something you came to talk about?

Or did you just want to visit me? Am I that dear to you? If so I have to inform you, that I do indeed like you but not in a romantic way. In fact you are like a younger brother to me."

"No, I just wanted to ask something. Did you tell Alice to cheer me up? Today she tried a, well, rather strange approach in order to encourage me. She said that I had grown moody lately….", explained Oz.

"A rather strange approach? Tell me more, you have peaked my interest. But to answer your question first, no, I haven't talked to her about your latest mood swings. I had to cope with some of my own, you know? But do tell me more of your encounter with the blood stained rabbit", said Sharon with a snarky grin.

"You see…. she told me she hat good news for me and then…well, she said she was pregnant with our love child. I mean this is obviously not possible but still. How could she think I would be glad about something like that? Moreover, she didn't even know what the term pregnant means. Well, in the end she accomplished her goal of cheering me up, but still… but you didn't make her say it, so it's okay I guess. I just thought this might be another prank of yours, like the kiss she gave me the last time", enlightened Oz the curious young Lady.

"Now that you have brought forth the conversation starter ,just tell me about your real reason of wanting to talk to me", said Sharon, instead of commenting further on his amusing story.

"The real reason? There is no…you … How are you doing this? Am I that transparent to you?"

"Everyone is, but go on, I will listen patiently.", answered Sharon, sporting another snarky grin.

"Well you see…. no I just can't talk about it. It is too embarrassing… I just can't

You know, I had a really strange dream and lately I… every time I…

No. I have nothing else to talk to you about. I … I see you. Good evening for now Sharon.", with those last words the young Lord headed out of the room leaving a rather estranged Sharon sitting in the library.

But just an hour later, after having a little chat with Break, who had also learned something really interesting today while hiding from her in a closet, everything became clear to her…


	6. So contagious

Dear Readers, I am truly sorry for not updating sooner.

I hope you will still read it, though.

This chapter was not to my liking, so it took me a while to upload it.

The featured song this time is so contagious by the Acceptance

Ary

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><p><strong>So contagious<strong>

_Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)  
>To say you're the only one breaking me down like this<br>You're the only one I would take a shot on  
>Keep me hanging on so contagiously<em>

_**Gils POV**_

Had anyone asked Gil a week earlier, whether not telling Oz what he really felt would get any harder, he would have definitely denied it. Now he knew that it could get harder, because it had. It was his own fault, to say the truth.

He should have not given in into his feeling, not even for a minute. But he did and had kissed his young master. Well, luckily Oz had been asleep, so he didn't notice what his lowly servant had done to him .

Gil really regretted what he had done. Not just because staying at his master's side had gotten harder ,apart from that he also had an unsettling feeling that Break knew about the incident.

During the last week the white haired clown had made some ambiguous jokes on Gil's behalf, but only when Oz wasn't anywhere near.

Moreover something seemed to have happened between Oz and Alice. Sometimes Alice stared questioningly at Oz who didn't seem to bother all that much. Oz didn't seem to bother about anything at all.

He was very distant lately. But that was understandable right? One of his friends died and another one betrayed all of them with switching to the Baskervilles side.

Furthermore, he listened to Oz talking about having bad dreams. Something about a blonde haired boy sitting in a snowy alley all alone...

And then a brown haired young faceless girl …

There also seemed to be something else on Oz mind, but he insisted on not sharing it with Gil. Maybe he thought about confessing to Alice?

Only the thought of him and her together ripped apart the servants fragile heart, but he tried to tell himself that everything would be fine, as long as Oz would be happy. Oz happiness was the only thing he strived for right?

He himself wasn't worthy of feeling true happiness, wasn't worthy of being with his master in the way he wished for.

Just staying by his side should be enough. He knew his feelings were out of line but Oz was the only one he would give his all for, everything he wanted, just the thought of touching Oz left him aching ,but he was well aware that being with Oz was just a mere dream… nothing more.

_**Oz POV**_

Oz was sitting in the library, once again. But even his beloved book series wasn't able to let him escape from the harsh reality. Oz just wished that he had never been born. The minute people tried to befriend him, they got hurt, or worse.

Eliot died… and what for? This stupid confrontation between the Baskervilles and Pandora Heart was all shrouded in mystery and the great Jack his ancestor was either not willing or not able to share the truth with him.

This really bugged Oz, Jack had to know what happened…right?

Oz could just not shake off the strange pictures from his dreams, the teenage boy sitting in the snow in a dark alley looking up into the face of a slightly older brown haired girl.

This girl…somehow Oz felt connected to her, she reminded him of someone…

Moreover, every time he thought about those dreams, his heart started aching.

But that wasn't the only thing making his heart ache and his thoughts confused. There was this other dream he had had recently.

Something warm touching his lips… an image of Gil crossing his mind, nudging at the edges of his dream world.

Gil's face so innocent and pure, even if the man was technically older thanOz, it didn't feel this way sometimes. Gil…

After having this strange dream Oz felt uncomfortable in Gil's presence. How could he dream of such a thing? Gil would never….

They were friends after all, nothing more, why would Gil? He was a guy, right? Oz was a guy too and he liked cute girls after all. Like Sharon or Alice for example. Well, to say the truth, they felt more like sisters to him, but still. He would never…. it just wasn't right

It should feel utterly wrong, thinking of Gil in that way, wishing that he wouldn't just have been dreaming of….

No, he shouldn't allow himself harboring thoughts like this. It was against nature after all. He was a noble after all. After all…. after all….

After all, he wasn't able to shut the feeling of warm lips on his own out of his mind….


	7. This  Love

Hi guys!

I had a really stressful time lately, so I didn't manage to update any earlier. But I really put my heart into this chapter and I hope you like it. I also hope, that Break is not to OOC...

But someone had to talk to Gil, right?

Like always, you should bear in mind, that english isn't my mother tongue and I don't have a beta reader, so there might be a couple of mistakes here and there. Moreover, I can't express myself as elaborate as I wish to in english. But I kinda hope you enjoy this chapter neonetheless. If you do, please please please leave a review, this would surely make me update a lot faster ^.^

Have a great New Year, see you guys in 2012!

Almost forgot to mention this... this chapter was inspired by the songThis = Love by the Script

A great great great song ^^

Also, neither PH nor the song do belong to me (sadly so)

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><p><strong>This = Love<strong>

_Love is why we do it, love is worth the pain_  
><em>Love is why we fall down get back up again<em>  
><em>Love is where the heart lies love is from above<em>  
><em>Love is this, this is love<em>

Break had enough. Gil and Oz were just unbelievable. It was so obvious, their feelings. But none of them was able to notice the love in the eyes of the other. Break wanted them to notice.

For him it was hard to know that Sharon reciprocated his feelings but they could never give in to them, but it would have been even harder to deem them unrequited. Moreover, Oz and Gil would most likely never be able to lead their houses, contrary to Sharon, who was recognized as the true heir of her dukedom.

Therefore, they would be able to confess to each other, wouldn't they? And in Breaks' eyes there would be no fault in it, since love didn't care for gender or age. True love would overcome everything…right? Well, thought Break to himself, who would have thoughtI'd get that sentimental during my old days? But both of them have been through a lot…. this… they deserve a little happiness at last. Who knows what will await them in the future?

So the mad hatter decided to talk to Gil, who would be easier to convince than the stubborn young Lord, who was to proud to see where his true feelings lay.

Break entered the kitchen of the Pandora Headquarters, where he could find Gil, as expected, who was just kneading some (delicious smelling) dough. Break, knowing that Gil was absorbed by his task, slowly crept up to Gil, stretched his left arm out and put his index finger into the warm dough only to flick a spitter of the dough in the Nightrays' face.

As always, Gils' surprised and embarrassed reaction was enough to satisfy Breaks craving for his daily monkeyshines.

"Who dares…? Break! You… you… this is so sticky, you totally messed up my hair! Moreover I almost spilled the whole dough and it is for my master's favorite cake! Why do you always have to scare me like that, do you have no- nothing better to do?" shouted Gil, with a flushed face.

"I am so sorry Gil, I mean I almost ruined your beloved masters favorite cake, apparently, that is. But you know, I am always wondering….

If you just see him as your master….just as your master, don't you think you wouldn't care all that much? I mean, it is true that it is a servants duty to care for his master, but only to a certain point you know.

But you… you spent every single thoughtyou have on Oz, isn't that right? And you always quarrel with little Alice, I wonder why…

Because you know, by now you should have realized, that Alice means no harm to Oz. But still you seem to not like her all that much. I really wonder why…

Well, to say the truth, I figured out the reason , so I stopped wondering .

You know…. I kind of overheard you… ", said Break with his creepy trademark smirk.

"Figured me out? I wouldn't know what you are referring to now. I mean there is nothing to figure out at all. It is very simple, really.

I am Oz's servant, it is my duty to fulfill the needs of my master. A very kind and caring master who sees me as a friend even. So it is natural to devote my time to him, isn't it? And I have no idea what you are referring to when you are speaking of "having me overheard". ,", stuttered Gil, sporting a lightly flushed face.

"Cut it out now. Let's be honest for a change. Okay, listen Gil, listen closely, because I don't intend to repeat myself all over again.

I know you will surely feel embarrassed, but don't let it cloud you true feelings.

I am sorry, well, to say the truth , I am not, but I overheard you talking to yourself.

Sharon on the other hand had a brief conversation with Oz. Well, when we exchanged the bits and pieces it was pretty easy to figure out what you were talking about that day in the storage room. You kissed him, while he was fast asleep, right?

And I know that you might be telling yourself, or me for that matter, that it was just the spur of the moment, but we both know that this is a blatant lie.

You love him ,you always did. Only in that light all your actions make sense. I mean even if you were put under a spell that made you keep Oz safe, even then, some things wouldn't be explainable. I mean it's not like you're just acting as his faithful servant as the spell would direct. You behave like he is your most precious treasure. It becomes especially evident when you're a little drunk, I must say.

But you know, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Gender or class doesn't really matter if you truly love him you know. I mean everyone would be glad to be held as dearly as you hold him .It isn't bad or wrong it is just plan true innocent love. Well, strike out the innocent part, I mean you have kissed him already, right? Now you are blushing again…

Boy…. you guys are really annoying me, it is so obvious to us but the both of you are just so blind. Bottom line is, just confess already, I can assure you you wont regret it "

Listening to Breaks rant, Gils facial expression changed from slightly angered and emberassed to outright glowing red than to dreamy and finally to a sad smile. Then he stared at the floor and spoke slowly in a low voice:

"But; I m useless, how could someone like him be attracted to someone like me. I am broken, without a past, I always stand at the sidelines and I am a crybaby so why should he like me? I am weak even if I try to be strong…"

"You're wrong; the only thing you truly lack is self-esteem you know? Moreover how can you say you're useless to him? You saved his life a dozen times, without you he would never have come back from the abyss. You support him whenever he needs you. You're not useless, he would be lost without you. And I am sure he knows….."

Gil shook his head slowly, "But he called Alice his sun…. and he told me I'm his best friend. So you can go figure….even if he needs me, he sees me only as a friend. Probably not even as his best friend. He is a noble, I … I am just pretending. Pretending to fit in, pretending to care about the other nobles and their shallow interests… I don't belong here. The only place where I feel like I belong is at his side and I don't want to lose this feeling. If I tell him how I truly feel about him, he probably couldn't bare having me around any longer, since my very feelings are preposterous. So… I am just content standing at the sidelines and watching him from afar. He is my reason to exist. His radiant smile, his golden hair and those bright kind eyes… I just want him to be happy, even if that means I have to hand him over to that stupid rabbit.", explained Gil with a loving but sad expression in his eyes.

Break took Gils face into his hands and looked straight into the ravens sad eyes

"I'm getting tired here, you know? Well, let me just state this; Oz does like you a lot more than he knows himself! So you should make him realize how much that really is…

The point is, love is a really simple thing, Gil. Love doesn't care about status, gender or age. Love is just that, this deep glowing feeling that makes you feel like you belong, like you have found your most precious treasure. A treasure everyone should try o hold onto. Love is easy and right. The problem about humans is, that they let get their stupid ambitions and their conscience in the way of their shoot at true love. Tell me Gil, what does status or reputation mean in the face of true love? Would it be better to have a good reputation but not to give in to true love? To the bliss that comes with knowing there is someone you can always depend on? Someone that makes your heart race and your smile shine more radiant than ever? I have seen the look in yours and your master's eyes when you are beside each other, the look in your eyes when one of you is in danger or hurt….

Do you really think Oz is as shallow as to miss out on a shot at real love just to avoid a scandal? Don't you think you would regret it more, if you never told him what you really feel than confess and be rejected by him? "

After having spoken the last words, Break let go of Gils face. The Raven averted his gaze and went silent for a while. Silence filled up the whole room for quite a while. Then, suddenly Gil took the baking pan, filled up with the cake dough an threw it into the waste bin.

"What are you doing Gil?", asked Break, while he displayed a kind of content smile.

"I… I am done baking cakes and doing nothing. You were right there. I have to confess before it is to late…. before I lose my chance to…

Even if he rejects me, I want him to know how I feel. Thank you Break, for setting my mind right. As I suspected earlier, you are a lot more insightful as people expect you to be…", having spoken the words with a for Gils unusual decisive tone in his voice, the black haired young man left the kitchen to look for his master… no … to look for the person he held more dear than anything else in the whole word. The person he would commit his whole existence to, if Oz would just let him…

"I love you Oz", muttered Gil to himself, as he closed the kitchen door behind him.


End file.
